she was so not down for the gang bang
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
