# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
