Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
