He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
