Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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