I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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