so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
