it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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