There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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