Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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