i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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