do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
