I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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