I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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