Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
