dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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