I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
