okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
