The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
