Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
