dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
