i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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