the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
