The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize