I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize