1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
