I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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