Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
