So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
