is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
