I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
