I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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