Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
