I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
