So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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