the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
