you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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