Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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