Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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