she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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