my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
