There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
