Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
