I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
