is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
