If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
