If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
