singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
