you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
