I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
