maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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