So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
