Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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