The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
