I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
