I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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