i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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