I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
