i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
