I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize