Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
