You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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