Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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