Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
