If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
