you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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