When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
